I have demons in me.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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