My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
