and she was petting her beer can
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
