I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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