Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
