i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
