I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
