they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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