I'm sorry my penis didn't work
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
That accounts for only three of the penises
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
