hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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