well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
