cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
