we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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