Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
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we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
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I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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