well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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