She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
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Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
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Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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