And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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