You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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