if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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