if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
