Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
