the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
