D3 body, D1 cock
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize