Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I would fuck him just for his dog
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
