38 yer olds are good kisserssss
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
