operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
