You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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