Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
