I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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