the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
