i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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