I think my vagina is haunted
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
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we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
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He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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