it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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