Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
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I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
whose ass print is on the piano?
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This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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