I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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