Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
