Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
