So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
