I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
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