it wasn't lemon gatorade
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
