In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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