god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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