She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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