i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
