I feel like I'm in dance class right now
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
