Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
