You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
