I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize