why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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