Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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