singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize
