We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
