I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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