You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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