Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
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I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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