He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
